BEDA Day 25: Yep

I haven't cried today. Which is... surprising. And I'm not sure if it's a good thing or not. You would think that not crying is always a good thing... but I think I'm supposed to cry today. But I haven't.

And I also don't have the energy to write a proper post.

Rest in Awesome, Esther. I miss you. Too much.

-Jess

BEDA Day 24: Might as Well

I had originally planned to write this while my video was uploading, but I actually haven't even started filming the aforementioned video. Because my camera died. MY CAMERA DIED. This may not sound like a big deal to anyone else, but my camera has never died before, even though I've had it for over a year I think. I don't know how long I've had it. But it's been a long time.

So it's charging. And I really wanted to make this video and sigh.

Today is John Green's birthday. I didn't get to help with the making of his birthday present because of vacation, but hopefully I'll be able to help write at least one message for the calendars that we'll be making for the rest of his life. He might not see it until he's in his sixties, but he'll read my message eventually. EVENTUALLY.

I have more things to talk about, but I'll be talking about them in my video, which will be uploaded later tonight. Hopefully.

(This needs no explanation. It's just AMAZING.)

-Jess

BEDA Day 23: EARTHQUAKE

So there was an earthquake here today. Well, not HERE... in Virginia. But I felt it here. It was quite the wimpy earthquake. Apparently it wasn't insanely wimpy in other places, but it was to me. The most entertaining part of the whole experience was watching Nick freak out and overreact over Twitter. Fun times. My personal favorite quotes:

Hahaha. I seriously had to stop myself from just screencapping his entire Twitter.

I've recently become obsessed with The Sims Social, which means that I have now become one of those people that plays games on Facebook. Which is disconcerting.

But THE SIMS SOCIAL YOU GUYS. It's so... amazing.

Kat and I are "good friends" on The Sims Social. And we had a lovely conversation last night:*

Ohmygoodness. Kat and I are now “good friends” on The Sims Social.

Hey interesting story about Kat and me: We have actually sort of kinda met in person sort of. Like, we were in the same room, a few feet away from each other, and acknowledged each others’ existence via Twitter. But never actually talked.

Oh the life of the socially awkward.

In fact I will point out that we have been in the same room AT LEAST THREE TIMES.

That I know of at least.

God we’re terrible.

I remember two. The first time I remember we just shared awkward eye contact. And then, the second time.

There might be more but I don’t even remember because we’re so awful at, y’know, communicating in person.

NEXT TIME WE ARE IN THE SAME ROOM, I AM TALKING TO YOU. YES.

I was at Triple Rainbow Awesome Tour, the Driftless Pony Club show, and Contour.

BUT YES DO IT

I mean we are GOOD FRIENDS after all

Now that you say that, I think I might vaguely remember you from the Triple Rainbow Awesome show. Maybe. I might. Not sure.

But anyway. We will talk and it will be glorious and still very awkward but in a glorious way because we are GOOD FRIENDS and that’s what GOOD FRIENDS do.

We should totally giggle together.

Anyways. I think that's all I have to say today.

ACTUALLY. NO. WAIT.

In case anyone reading this is interested: There is an opening for the Wednesday spot on Vlogstreet, a collab channel full of very lovely and adorable people. If you would like to join, check out this thread.

Now I'm done.

(Because it's Vondell Swain's cat. Oh, I'm friends with Vondell now on Facebook. Because of The Sims Social. Yeah.)

-Jess

*Kat in orange, and me in black, in case you couldn't tell.

BEDA Day 22: Wait

Um. It is past midnight.

I'm so bad at this.

Sigh.

BEDA Day 21: Oh right

I actually have to write a post today. Well, this is weird.

Gettysburg was pretty fun. I learned stuffs, too.

I got a good amount of footage, so I do believe that I'll be making a Thoughts From Places video about it.

I have nothing else to say, really. But I'm glad to be back to posting every day, because there's a little over a week left of August.

-Jess

BEDA Day 20: I remember

I remember sitting alone in my daycare when I was little. The daycare was a small place. It was supposed to be a house, and someone actually lived in it. It was next door to my future elementary school. The principal of that school was the one that lived in the daycare. She lived at the top of this ominous blue staircase. There were few rooms in the daycare, each one for a different age range. I spent most of my time in the main area. In this part of the daycare, there were two types of chairs; the normal ones were made out of plastic, but the others out of wood. There were only two wooden chairs, and they were different because they symbolized punishment. To everyone else, at least. When people were put on “time-out,” I never saw it as a punishment, just a time to stop talking. I loved to talk - still do, most of the time - but I thought that was interesting. That just by sitting someone in a chair, they become silent. Or they are supposed to become silent. I remember that sometimes I would choose to sit in the wooden chairs. I was never in trouble, I just wanted to sit, be quiet, and observe. I was amazingly thoughtful at age four.

BEDA Day 19: Zombicorns Chapter 2

We spend the rest of the day making plans. As expected, no one besides me wants to leave. “Settling down for a while isn’t a bad thing, Deagan,” Yanenowi says.

“But it could be! If we settle down for too long, we won’t be able to leave quickly, and that could kill us,” I say, exasperated.

Mia has been very quiet. I’m not sure if she just has nothing to say, or is judging us for wanting to leave. If she managed to stay in one place for so long...

“Well, there’s no point in arguing about this now. We have no reason to leave tonight or tomorrow, so let’s just let it go until it becomes important,” Amy says.

It’s times like these that I wish I never had chosen to stay with Yanenowi, Amy, and Rou. They never listen to me. Sometimes they’re right, but I generally know what to do. I look to Mia to see her reaction. She blinks and shrugs. I sigh.

“Fine then,” I groan.

I spend the rest of the day playing with Mr. President. I never noticed how much I missed having a dog. Animals are so interesting, and so much better to spend time with than people. Mia is still sitting, not talking to anyone. She’s been watching me and Mr. President the whole time, which is making me self-conscious, but what can I do? I don’t mind the silence. Rousseau, quiet little Rou, has also been silent today, but I’m used to that from her. Amy went out to go do something - I’m pretty sure she told me, but I wasn’t listening - and returns as the sun begins to set.

“So, Mia,” Amy says, plopping down next to her. “What was life like in Chicago? I haven’t been to a city in a long time.”

Mia looks at her. “Um. It was... Surprisingly secluded and empty. Sort of like this,” she motions to our surroundings, “But different because you know that people once lived there.”

“Did you live there alone?” Amy asks.

Mia looks down at her feet. “I had a friend there. Her name was Caroline.”

“Did she become one of them?”

Mia flinches. “No. She... she just left. I don’t know.”

Rousseau is drawing lines in the dirt with her finger. Sitting here with the dog on my own is even too anti-social for me, so I stand up and walk over to them, sitting across from Mia. “Where are you from, Rousseau?” Mia asks.

Rou smiles and sits up straighter. “I’m from Quebec. I did not know much English before the infection. I learned from others I met. I lived in a... apartment?” Rou looks at me for confirmation, and I nod. “A apartment. With my parents. They were not infected, and we tried to leave... They did not leave soon enough.”

Rou loves talking about her past life. I’m not sure why, maybe she likes practicing her English. Like the rest of us, her story does not end well.

“My mother, she was going to have another baby,” Rou continues, “She was infected. I was a... only child. My mother was infected first - she infected my father a day later. I saw both happen. I ran away.”

“We found her dying of malnutrition near Little Lonely Lake, funnily enough,” I say. “Yanenowi, Jeff, Amy, and I. About five months ago. She’s been with us ever since.”

“Who’s Jeff?” Mia asks.

“Oh. Right. You don’t know him,” I say. “He was from a little town in upper New York. One of Yanenowi’s friends that she made over the years prior to this whole... mess. Was in his mid-thirties when I knew him. Been without him for about two months.”

“What happened?” Mia asks.

“An attack. We were stupid, stayed in one place too long. Couldn’t get out in time. Jeff’s one of them now - a Z, I guess you would say.”

“As far as we know, he’s still alive,” Amy says, “But we obviously left him at our old spot. Probably planting corn as we speak.”

“Which is why we should really think about heading North soon,” I mutter.

“Oh, drop it,” Amy says.

“I can’t. I don’t want it to happen again - mainly to me, no offense - but not to any of us.”

Yanenowi tells us all to go to sleep. We’re all adults, and should be able to decide for ourselves when to sleep, but we always listen. It’s partially because she’s double our ages, but Yanenowi’s personality just makes her like a caring mother. Or what I imagine a caring mother would be like. I wouldn’t know.

An hour later, I’m still awake, lying still and looking up at the stars, not able to shake the feeling that we aren’t safe here.